Why Blog?
I sat down this morning to answer this question, why blog? My intent was to explain how I didn't think I was going to bother with it much more and might close this down for a while. But when I began to think about it, as I began to type in the words it came to me that I was deceiving myself.
I have been writing quite a lot in my own personal, and very private, journal. I was going to declare here that I didn't have anything to say anymore, yet that is not true and in my heart I know it.
I'm having difficulty this early AM getting around to what I want to say :-/ So what I am going to have to do is just be honest for a second, shocking as that might be. The truth is I have mostly been writing in my personal journal about spiritual matters, some of which I don't much care to share in public spaces like this one. On the other hand that shouldn't stop me from sharing here totally.
That brings me around, at last, to my deception of myself and my real motive for quitting my writing here. I am hesitant to write much about God. There, I said it. I am distressed to admit that I have been avoiding talking about my Lord. I don't want to sound like one of those deplorable right wing Christians who seem to think the Lord is all about smiting the heathen Islamiacs and punishing homosexuals with Aids and telling George Bush what to have for breakfast and which country to "liberate" next.
I have been afraid that if I talk too much about he Lord and the wonderful things he does in my life I will be associated with those people. In fact I am
still afraid of that. I
don't want to be linked to these people in any way.
The result is that I come close to denying my Lord just to avoid being thought of as an ignorant redneck bible thumper. Not that there is anything wrong with thumping a bible, or being a redneck... but that ignorant part really bugs me quite a bit.
The people I don't want people to think I'm like are ones who will go on a lot about "Judeo-Christian" values, with a very heavy emphasis on the Judeo and law side of things and nearly ignoring completely the Christian gospel and grace side of things.
So then, here I am at 5:30 am wondering if I should post this or not. I think I will actually and in the future, maybe later today or tomorrow, I will begin to talk about God, about what I learn about Him and about my walk with Him day by day. I won't worry about being linked with "them" any more. I don't plan to ever mention this again because, well it's not that important actually. I will make plain who I am and who I know God to be in my writing and will strive to do it in a positive way, without condemning others. I felt I had to make it clear though, in at least this one post, that
I'm not them! :-/